This week Gemma turned 5 months and I'm still in disbelief. Admittingly, I now realize that I truly did not understand how fast time passes until Gemma came into our world. She's been an absolute joy and every second spent with her makes my heart feel like it's going to explode with so much love. You know that scene in Snow White where she walks in the forest, and all the wild forest creatures suddenly flock to her—a deer feeding off of her hand, a little songbird resting on her shoulder, butterflies fluttering about? That's the same affect Gemma has on us.
Watching her explore her surroundings and trying to imagine what she could be possibly be thinking is an experience like nothing else. She stares at her hands and feet in amazement, beams when you suddenly appear, gives you the most endearing look of achievement whenever you let her stand up on your lap and my favorite of all, she can give the warmest embrace that chokes me up every time.
There's one thing that she does that I hope I never forget. Ever. Sometimes, I like to let her play independently on her mat while I'm working. Usually I'll hear her babbling, thumping her feet, or the occasional squeal—but then suddenly it gets quiet. I'll glance over at her and find that she's looking at me. At that moment, when our eyes meet, she gives me the warmest smile—the kind of smile that you can see in her eyes—then goes back to playing. The feeling it gives me brings me to my knees. Being a first time mom can certainly bring a lot of doubt on plenty of issues, but always at that moment, when I catch that smile of hers, it makes me believe she's telling me she loves me and not to worry.